Friday, July 26, 2013

An open letter to Mari

If you are a diabetic and do diabetic things on the inter-web then you are familiar with Mari Ruddy, she is an awesome person.  She has started her own diabetes camp thing with "Team Wild" and is also the founder of the "Red Riders" which I am a part of.  The Red Riders are a group of diabetics that ride with ADA (American diabetes association) in their "Tour De Cure."  This to me makes her a diabetes role model, a diabetes mentor, and also a diabetes advocate.

Then on June 11, 2013 at around 1:00pm Mari went missing and an all diabetes hands alert was sent out for all of us to pitch in and do our part to help find her.  Everyone on the diabetes inter-web was doing what we could do to spread the word and inform anyone to help find her.  The search for her was over when she was found on June 13, 2013 at like 4:00pm.  Mari was alive and all we got was that she was being taken to the ICU unit.  The family put out a message that they would like to be alone with Mari during this recovery but nothing was ever said about what happened.

Recently Mari has been released from the hospital and has sought the diabetes inter-web for a place to stay but still has said nothing about what happened.  When people ask her about whatever happened she either ignores them or gives a blank answer saying she will recover 100%.

I am so happy that she has been found and everything is going to be good.  Then just like everyone else that was recruited to help out and followed the story we are left with what happened?  This upsets me because everyone inside the diabetes community know something is going to happen to all of us at some time.  You never read in the obituary section of the paper about all the type 1 diabetics that simply die of old age.  No, you hear of our complications with organs and stuff that bring us down.  Since Mari is a role model, a mentor, and an advocate this is a great time to open up and educate the community on whatever happened. Personally I have had all sorts of issues and problems with my diabetes which I love to use as ways to educate others of things to do and not to do.  We learn as we go and sharing is caring which opens up discussion and that helps all diabetics.  If this had nothing to do with diabetes I really feel she should tell us that as well.  The thing about not saying anything is that we all get to use our "imagination" on what happened and trust me the scenarios that have played out in my head are not good and I don't want that to be what happened.  I do understand 100% that it is her right to not tell or say anything about it but I think if that is the road she is going to go down then we have the right to remove the labels she had as a role model, a mentor, and an advocate.


  1. Just because people choose to share some of their lives doesn't mean they are under obligation to share every detail. Mari has every right to disclose at a pace, and a level of detail, that makes her feel comfortable. As people, not just people with diabetes, we should support her in that decision. She doesn't owe us anything.

  2. I agree with Kerri and would go further to say that this is really an unreasonable request. We don't know what happened and Mari certainly has no obligation to tell anyone anything. This really comes across as a trying to lay a guilt trip on her and I certainly don't believe that is supportive of her in any way.

    It boils down to this, Mari is doing what she feels is best for her right now. Regardless of being a "role model" or what, she is a person first and must have the right to care for herself. As a friend once told me, its like the oxygen masks falling in an airplane. If you don't put yours on first...

    Mari has obviously set boundaries here that we, if we truly support her, are obligated to respect.

  3. I agree with Kerri and Scott and Dave. I would like to know what happened to Mari, but I don't have a right to know.
    I have not seen Mari since the thing that happened, whatever it was. If I saw her before I read this, I might have asked her what happened. It seems as if that wouldn't be taken well, so I won't make that mistake.
    I feel a little guilty for wanting to know something Mari must feel is personal.
    But I resent my built because this thing that happened, whatever it was, had a big public impact.
    Mari has done some admirable things, things for which I'm personally grateful. That won't change.
    But like Dave, I wish I knew what we are all not talking about.